Walking on Water Miracles: Staying On Top of Struggle

Walking on Water Miracles:
Thoughts on stepping out of the boat,
taking every step by faith,
and staying on top of the daily waves of struggle.

 

”
And Peter said,
Lord, bid me come unto thee
on the water.
“

Matthew 14:28

 

Morning prayers with my husband, two days ago…

“What made Peter think he could walk on water? What was he thinking? That he could do whatever Jesus did?”

Mr. K listened as the questions spewed from my half-awake brain like spilled coffee all over the breakfast table. From the mug that says, “Do I look like a rise and shine?”

(Sometimes I’m the person who doesn’t talk till noon, but some mornings the coffee hits early.)

And then I said, “Sometimes I dream that I can walk on water.”

That sideways look from him. You know, “Seriously?”

“Yes, I do. Night dreams, I mean. It seems perfectly normal to walk on top of water in my dreams. I do it often.”

Then I wondered.

Why would I dream that I can walk on water? Where I’m at a lake and a child needs help and I just skim over the surface of the water and pull him to safety. Or we’re just having a good time at the lake, and it’s like skating, only we’re walking on the waves.

I can’t believe those dreams have never seemed weird to me till now.

I’d like to think the dreams come from subconscious faith. But then again, I wouldn’t want to take responsibility for the dreams that make me feel like, “Where did that come from?” So, if I don’t want to accept the bad dreams as my subconscious, I suppose that discounts the good ones.

I do believe I’ll take them as a gift from God, though, because they make me feel good. And the bad ones, well, maybe He’s trying to make me thankful life isn’t that bad after all.

 

 

What about those days

when you feel you can walk on water? 

Sometimes you just do. Your life feels blessed, things are going well,

and it’s like one of the Church ladies said the other day, “I love our life!”

You’re skimming over the waves, and the water is smooth. Tiny ripples, not waves.

Are these good days enough to carry us through when the waves are over our heads?

I’m thankful for the strength God gives when the storms appear. When there’s complete white-out, and seemingly no path ahead. Like if you take a step, you’ll fall off the edge.

Peter sank when he took his eyes off Jesus, but Jesus’ hand was right there to lift him.

The key then, is grab That Hand with all your might.

Don’t just stay in the boat where it’s safe. Step out on the water, because He wants us to. He wants us to live life to the fullest, without fear, with the buoyancy He is ready to give our heavy feet. He wants us to say, like Peter, “Bid me to walk on the water and come to you.”

Because, take my word for it,

walking on water is an exhilarating feeling.

In my dreams, and when I realize that’s what I’m doing in real time…

doing, with God’s help, something I would have thought wasn’t possible.

Like living through watching a child strapped to a gurney, and wheeled down halls and around corners you can’t follow, hustled by hulking men who won’t look you in the eye, and transported to an unknown hospital. Then locked behind doors they won’t let me through until they said I could, because I might be the root of her problems. A child who was probably freaking out, because she wasn’t crazy, and she wouldn’t understand what was happening.

“Do you think of killing yourself?” “Yes. Sometimes.” “Do you have a plan?” “Maybe.” “Do you hear voices?” “Yes.” Me: “Kim, she means in your head. Voices telling you to do crazy stuff.” Kim: “Oh. No, I don’t.” But the “wheels” were in motion. We brought her to ER, so this was out of our hands, because she was 18, and they were going to find the cause of her issues. (Which, by the way, they didn’t.)

What we found out was that autistic children and young adults are frequently hospitalized because of their rages. The reason hospitalization helps is because they find a different drug to calm them down for awhile, till the drug doesn’t work anymore. And, the AS child gets over the storm in his head causing him to lash out, and is able to go back to masking for awhile again. Masking all the stuff he doesn’t understand until it gets to be too much and it happens all over again. We are so thankful Kim never got to that point again. The reason she didn’t could well be that we now understood more of her situation, and could help mitigate her stress. Most of the time.

The true miracle has been living this life day after day, for her, the strongest person I know, and we, her family, surviving and thriving in spite of facing difficult scenarios time after time. As far as I’m concerned, the families, and their AS children/siblings most of all, are walking on water every day they call good. Every day they survive.

 

Walking on water is an attitude:
part gratitude, part acceptance, part boot strap,
and a whole lot of faith.

And when you realize you’re doing it,

it’s inexpressibly amazing.