How To Survive The Terrible Mistakes That Happen
We can’t escape the fact that we make mistakes, even some terrible ones, in our journey through life. Do we know how to survive the regret, pick up and go on again with confidence?
Because it’s not easy. Some mistakes I’ve made have set me back for months. Even years, although the intensity of regret does wear off a little as time goes on.
It’s as if life is a Goldilocks story, trying actions on for size, until the final mistake happens that I can’t forget or forgive myself for. It took years for me to grasp that this is not the way God wants us to live. That God has steps set in place for us to take to survive all mistakes, small or terrible. Following these steps is the only way to have the full life of blessing He has planned for us. No, He doesn’t have the rules set in stone, like if the mistake is, say, a level 1, you nag and scold at yourself for 10 days, then get over it.
Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.
Here’s what Merriam-Webster defines as a mistake:
mistake, noun,
1: a wrong judgment: misunderstanding
2: a wrong action or statement proceeding from faulty judgment, inadequate knowledge, or inattention
We’re not talking about accidents (or even honest mistakes) here, over which we have no control. Although those also can cause hurt to others that we need to own. But often…
Mistakes are choices we make
kimenink.com
in the heat of the moment
that turn out to be wrong.
Level 1: Surviving “Oh, phooey, that was so foolish!” Mistakes
There are little mistakes, like you forget to set the timer on a pan of bars. The edges burn and half of it has to go into the trash.
Then next week, it’s a joke you tell on yourself, with a side of chagrin.
It’s quite easy to survive intact from the first level on the Goldilocks scale of mistakes.
Level 2: How To Survive “Oh, Lord, what was I thinking!” Mistakes
Then there are middle-size mistakes.
They take a little longer to get over.
They leave a bigger impact on your world. A little like a scab, it hurts if you bump it. Maybe bleeds a little again.
But heals with time and life goes on.
Until something reminds you of it; hits you right in that spot again. And you cringe, and ask God, “What was I thinking?” He reminds you that mistakes keep you humble, to pick up your head, and move on.
Then there’s the Daddy Bear level of mistakes. You fall asleep in wrong place.
Level 3: How To Survive Terrible Mistakes
“Oh God, help me, please, I’ve messed up so badly.”
What to do when that’s the prayer on your lips?
These are the terrible mistakes that leave us reeling for a long time. And even when the raw edges wear off, our lives remain changed in some way, for always. It’s not nearly as simple as Goldilocks running off into the woods and the Bear family lives happily ever after.
No.
The porridge has to be discarded. The new batch, perhaps made in a hurry, doesn’t have the right consistency.
That chair has to be mended somehow, yet it might always be a little crooked.
The bed is contaminated. It will always remind you of something that shouldn’t have happened.
In the past I had a hard time forgiving myself for some mistakes. I’d stew and fret and work my mind into a frenzy of regrets. It would get to where I couldn’t think about anything else, and worry that God could never forgive me.
Then there are those who forgive themselves too easily, or make excuses too glibly, and that causes problems, too.
So now here’s what God says about terrible mistakes.
Well, pick any words of Jesus in the New Testament, and you’ll know what God says about them. All the stories we grew up on: Jacob, Joseph, David, Ruth, pick any. They’re all about beginning anew and becoming free from the past (and all its mistakes).
God truly can take a terrible, most reprehensible mistake (sin) and turn it into something good.
How do I know God turns mistakes into miracles?
Because He’s done it for me, time and again. I’m the original Goldilocks on the scale of making mistakes.
When I was young I made choices that took me to depths of despair (yes, a bit of a drama queen). I wondered if God would ever forgive me. Because I couldn’t forgive myself.
In grade school, I was sent home with a note for my father to sign. I lied to the teacher, and she wanted to teach me a lesson. She did.
In high school I chose to be rude to a boy and to this day I don’t think I could face him without cringing.
I chose the wrong crowd, and made “mistakes” that poisoned my thought patterns for too long.
Finally, after living the way “I” wanted to and watching some friends’ lives spiral away from God and into darkness, I began to grasp some good things.
Slowly, God got through to me. It wasn’t a one time wonder that changed me, and I lived in bliss ever after. No. One. Ever. Does.
- It was about reading His Word and hiding it in my heart.
- Heeding His quiet voice inside prompting me to look up when all seemed down. Sometimes one minute at a time.
- Building a solid wall of one better choice after another until I built strong inner knowledge that God wants only good for us.
- Believed I am included in God’s plan for good, not left out because I make more mistakes or deserve less than others.
So today?
Today I believe in miracles.
Because there is no mistake that God can’t use to give us a better life.
It’s all about believing that God can.
