Screwtape Letter for the Bride-To-Be

A “Screwtape Letter” for a Bride-To-Be, inspired by C. S. Lewis’ “The Screwtape Letters.” Wormwood gets tips for destroying the happiness of an engaged couple.

My Dear Wormwood,

I was thrilled to hear you are making progress with soon-to-be-brides. I do have a few tips.

First, aim your best efforts at her engagement.

As you know, you cannot do much with a bride-to-be who is deeply in love, and feels love in return. Luckily, with all the things she has to do to get ready for the wedding, she will soon be exhausted and sleep-deprived. That’s when you can start to insinuate that her fiancé “doesn’t love her enough, or he would do more to help.”

Secondly, do what you can to keep her focused on herself.

Weddings are for the bride. That’s a common concept with young people. The more you can get her to focus on what she wants for the wedding the more successful you will be. Selfishness can do so much damage to the beginning of a marriage.

Along those same lines, be sure she realizes details are important.

If the bride-to-be is wrapped up in the minute details of her wedding, she will spend hours online searching for the exact items she knows will make her wedding special and more impressive than anyone else’s. She needs to feel her wedding will be the wedding of the year.

Don’t forget to work on her fiancé, also.

The more the bride-to-be focuses on the details, the more neglected the groom-to-be will feel. Our goal is to get him to resent her intense regard of the wedding as opposed to regard for him and his well-being.

A Word of Caution Here.

The deep love a fiancé feels for his bride can cause him to believe the wedding is all about her, too. He might decide that she’s preoccupied with details only temporarily, and after the wedding, she’ll be all his.

This will create understanding on his part, instead of doubting her love. This must be avoided.

Now, on to her family and friends.

We must convince her that her family is not supporting her enough in her endeavors. Parents have a lot of influence on young brides, and they might try to steer her away from thinking exclusively about herself and the importance of “her” day. We can’t let this happen. She must resent their efforts, and be a diva. After all, this is the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for her to be the princess.

And convince her that her friends are jealous. The gossip she’s hearing should be considered truth, so that she will get discouraged and feel insecure. That will cause her to insist on having her way exclusively. If friends were true besties, they would get her, and want to help her make her dreams come true.

If there is any last piece of advice I could give you, dear Wormwood, it is to keep the bride-to-be involved exclusively in thoughts of her dreams and expectations for the future.

She will feel that once the wedding is over, her husband will remain perfect in her eyes, and continue to cater to her every wish. He will want to take her on a one-of-a-kind honeymoon that no young couple has thought of doing before. And after the honeymoon, she must expect him to provide a beautiful, new home filled with high-end furniture. Also, they can’t keep driving the cars they had before. They need vehicles that look good in the driveway, so the neighbors will view them as up-and-coming.

When her husband can’t provide all of this, she will feel misunderstood and neglected. This result is important, as it will begin to erode their home before it has a proper chance to get established.

The worst that can happen:

She will place God first in their engagement and wedding planning.

If she realizes that God can provide peace and happiness in spite of circumstances, our work will be utterly compromised.

Your malevolent uncle,

Screwtape