The Kindness Code: Loving In Deed and In Truth

Living the Kindness Code: A little goes a long way.
The ripple effect of one good deed can create ocean waves of well-doing as recipients pass it on, and on.

Living by the kindness code means loving others in deed (actions) and in truth (sincerely).

Tuesday of this week was World Kindness Day.

What?

Do we seriously need a special day to remember to be kind?

The Kindness Code is Free at Target.

Who doesn’t love Tarjay? All the lovely things… Dollar Spot. Magnolia Farms. Up and Up.

I asked Kim to stop at a specific Target on her way home from work, as it was the only one within reasonable distance that had a black mini binder in stock.

She found it, calling me to be sure it was the right thing.

Neither one of us thought about payment until that moment.

She didn’t think she had enough cash. We decided I would talk to the cashier and see if I could give her my credit card details.

I was so proud of Kim. She kept her phone on, and kept her cool. No huffing and muttering “what’s mom getting me into now” reaction.

I caught part of the convo.

The cashier said no almost before Kim finished asking. So Kim calmly begins to tell me we can’t do that and I’m starting to brainstorm other ideas when I hear Kim go, “Wait! What?”

Indecipherable talking in background, then, “Mom, the lady in line behind me says she’ll pay for it! What shall I do?”

We decide to go ahead with that plan, then she’d check her wallet and give the lady what cash she had.

The lady had other plans.

Kim ended up having enough to cover the cost, but this stranger said no.

She insisted it was taken care of!  That is the kindness code: loving with deeds that spring from a true desire to help.

Living the Kindness Code: Love in Action

On Monday, Christie called from the doctor’s office to remind us that Kim had an appointment with Dr. Gabe on Thursday.

Uh-oh.  Kim just started this new job and was working Tuesday through Friday.

“Oh, that’s no problem.  I can get her into a clinic near her work.”

I hesitated because Dr. Gabe is an angel, and you don’t easily change doctors when you find one you like.  I asked Christie if Dr. Gabe worked at those clinics.  “No,” came the reply, so “No, thanks” was my answer.  When I asked if it would work for Kim to go that very day, she said, “Of course!”

She didn’t have to do that.  I should have planned ahead on this, because I knew the appointment was coming up.

But that’s why we go to this clinic.  Everyone seems to live by the kindness code.

When we found Dr. Gabe, which isn’t actually his name, we knew we had found a keeper.  He became Dr. Gabe because he was telling us how he grew up the youngest child and only boy in a family of girls.  “You must be an angel after surviving that,” I said.  He laughed and said his mother nicknamed him Gabriel because she wanted him to live like an angel.

We think he does live up to that name.  And it seems to rub off on everyone in that clinic.

Neither of these kind deeds happened on World Kindness Day.

There were a couple of deeds that did happen on Tuesday, but I’ve told enough stories.

People like these, who make a habit of living their lives by the Kindness Code, make you feel that the world is going to be all right after all.

Give to those you love; give to those who love you, give to the fortunate, give to the unfortunate — yes, give especially to those you don’t want to give. You will receive abundance for your giving. The more you give, the more you will have! — W. Clement Stone

If this is true, why are we afraid to reach out sometimes, worrying that the recipient will take it wrong or not even appreciate it?  Our insecurities, doubts and lack of self-esteem keep us from living the Kindness Code.

If we feel unworthy then we believe we have nothing to give; if we don’t love ourselves then we don’t trust why someone would be kind to us. We may fear that if someone gives without reason that they actually want something from us, or that they have an ulterior motive.

When we feel uncomfortable with generosity it can make us get stuck in ourselves and our issues. When we can appreciate the beauty of spontaneity it takes us out of such self-centeredness; it enables us to let go of focusing on self and to freely reach out to each other. We can both give and receive. Such egoless moments are exquisite! 

Ed and Deb Shapiro

Kindness Code Deeds don’t have to be huge.

None of the deeds of kindness I observed this week have been outstanding or news-worthy.

So it’s good to remember that a little kindness goes a long way. We have not idea how many people will be touched by the ripple effect of a small act of kindness.

What are some of these small things we can do?

While they’ll be different for all of us, I’ll start a list. Let’s see how far the ripples can go.

• When someone asks you to bring a dish to a potluck, offer to bring two.
• Give up your seat for someone.
• Offer to babysit for a young family so the parents can have a night out.
• Walk your senior neighbor’s dog.
• Take your neighbor’s newspaper from the driveway to the door as you walk by. (This one might be outdated.  Does anyone get the paper anymore?)
• Tell your friend, discretely, that she missed a button on her blouse.
• Give each one you live with a genuine compliment every day.
• If a child’s constant noise and action irritate you, tell him you appreciate his energy for life.
• Never say no when someone wants to give you something, even if you take it home to the trash barrel.
• …

So the last line on the list needs adding by you all, the kindness pros, in the comments…

Let’s keep the mini deeds of kindness ideas rippling on and on!