If Everyone Cared and If Everyone Shared

If everyone cared and if everyone shared…
would life be better for those who live life from the sidelines?
God never promised that life would be fair
yet at times the unfairness takes our breath away
until we remember that God can make a way.

I hadn’t planned to write this today.

I had a nice post in my head, practically putting itself on this page, about something happy and cheerful.

But then, something happened.

Something that broke a little bit of my heart.

You all know how important the subject of autism is to me, and how it affects our family everyday.

So when I hear about people suffering because they didn’t get the help they needed, or got left out of the circle of caring that every human being deserves, my heart aches.

Last week, someone gave up the struggle.  Someone who deserved better gave up the fight to live, because no one was there to tell him he was needed.  No one was there to tell him that he had something to give to society, and he thought his life was expendable.

The message he got was bullying in school.  The message he got was rejection.  He got that he was a social misfit, and had no real friends.

This song plays out over and over and over again in society.  We need to change it.

If Everyone Cared and Nobody Cried*

It breaks my heart a little bit more every time I hear about someone no longer able to accept the place society gave him, simply because he didn’t know how to fit his unique look at life into the accepted mold.

His obituary is carefully and kindly written.  He had “a great passion for drama and literature, especially writing his own stories and material.  He also found enjoyment in reading within the fantasy genre… Harry Potter Novels…  he enjoyed music and his favorite song, “If Everyone Cared,” brought him some sense of comfort.

“Blessed with an old soul [he] was humble, kind, wise beyond his years and saw things in a unique way…  He was brave, trusted willingly, never cried and had no fear.  A problem solver, he pondered openly about ways to find peace and agreement amongst others.  …He could not understand how anyone would want to intentionally bring harm to others rather than live together harmoniously.  A thinker… he enjoyed a peaceful and quiet environment.  He could bond and connect with animals in a unique way most people never experience.

“He deeply absorbed words, thought and felt intensely, tried to be a friend to many,   …. sought acceptance, craved compassion, and wanted to ‘fit in’ but instead, captured and internalized the rejection.  Still he remained patient and kind, never wishing anger or harm to anyone.  Selflessly, he consistently worried more for others than himself.  More than he could ever comprehend, he brought pride and joy to his family.”

If Everyone Shared and Swallowed Their Pride*

How many people, do you think, in his town, in his school, in his circle of peers, knew this about him?

How many, do you think, took the time to try and understand his heart?

I’m afraid there were not very many.  My family was neighbors to him, and didn’t know him that way.

Granted, my family was not socially close to his family, but should we have been?

Should we have known that with his strange ways he would need someone who cared, besides his own family?

This is hard for me to describe, but I see it so much for individuals on the autism spectrum.

They want friendship beyond their families.

They crave compassion and want to ‘fit in’ but instead ultimately feel rejection.

Everyone thought this young man was dealing with life.

Everyone thought his ‘old soul’ and understanding ways would be enough.

They thought his desire for peace, harmony and nonviolence would prevail.

But in the end…

…when he reached a crossroads and couldn’t find the way…

a young man in the tenth grade saw no place for himself in this world, and took himself to another world.

Imagine What the World Could Be*

And my question is…

Who of us is making a difference for these rejected souls?

How many, outside of the few who work in social work because they have hearts of compassion, actually understand what this young man lived each and every day?

His intelligent mind told his emotional mind that he could be okay.  That if he showed love and caring and compassion to others, he would get it in return.

His superior intelligence could grasp all that, but his lonely soul could not win over his intelligence.

People,

this is a fine line.  And I sit here and weep as I think of the many who walk that line every day of their lives.

Let’s Show the World They were Wrong*

If everyone cared, you could make a difference for someone today.

Show you truly care by taking action. Because they know the difference.

Just fit one person like this into your life.

Send a text now and then.  Share a song or send a “what’s up.”  They might load your inbox with messages. You don’t need to answer every one; once in awhile is fine.

Be consistent.  They may act as if they want to be with you every day, because they crave friendship.  But they will get it if they know there will be a next time.  Just an “I’ll text you on Friday” or, “Let’s go for coffee next week” is fine.

Give them something to look forward to.  Give them the joy of feeling a part of something.

Showing some care could give them the little tilt they need to stay on the upward side of that fine line.

To paraphrase Hillary Clinton and the African Proverb she was referring, it takes a village to raise a person up from a hard place.

And teach them all to sing along
Singing amen, I, I’m alive.*

*Note: The titles with asterisks are taken from the song, “If Everyone Cared,” by Nickelback.  All the Digital sales of this song go to Amnesty International and International Children’s Awareness Canada.