Having a Restful Nest | When Life Gets Hectic
Having a “restful nest” when life gets hectic is essential. Here’s 10 ways to create a sanctuary to unwind and recharge amidst the chaos of daily demands.
Having a restful nest is for the birds.
Every mom has those days, when you’re sure only birds are allowed to have restful nests.
You know, days when the toddler sneaks out the back door while you’re in the middle of bathing baby.
And you know she’s running away because 1. you gave her the stink eye when she made too much noise while you were on the phone with your husband’s client, and 2. you’re potty training her and she probably has some urges she’s ignoring.
But baby comes first. And you know the dog and the fence will keep sister safe for 2 minutes while you safely wrap things up.
With baby wrapped in a towel, you go find sister. You see her blond head sparkling in the sunshine, bobbing just above the green bean plants in the garden.
She’s chewing on a green bean, and so you stoop to pull some weeds in the flower bed on your way to coax her to the potty.
Then your smile freezes. You almost stepped in it. Gulp. It is not the dog’s. It is without doubt from a tiny human rear end.
Your headache comes on in a whoosh as you grab sister to check for damages.
Mama bird’s answer: kick the littles out of the nest.
The above worst case are the days moms wish they could be like mama bird and kick the babies out of the nest.
Or have the postman bag them over to grandma’s house.
That’s what people did, back in 1912 or so. The USPS had lifted the limit on mailing only parcels up to 4 pounds, so people were shipping everything.
Including their children.
One little girl named May got shipped 70 miles with a couple of stamps stuck to her coat. Likely not because mom was mad.
Rather, parents felt safe doing it, because mailmen did everything in those days, and they were dependable. “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.” They almost became part of the family. In May’s case, the mailman was family. A cousin, or something.
May’s story made headlines then, and someone even wrote a children’s book, named “Mailing May.” (That book would be a treasure. A tool to use to put the fear of mom into someone??)
After a couple of years a law put a stop to mailing any living things besides bees, chicks and plants, and those only under strict rules. Someone claims a little girl named Maude was mailed under the label “chicks.” That may be fake news, though.
10 Ways to have a restful nest in the midst of chaos
So, while your days as mom will have a few hectic moments, you’re not allowed to put sis in a sack with a stamp and send her aboard USPS airmail.
What you can try is one or more of these things to get your little nest to a more restful place:
Here’s the short list:
- Cuddle.
- Use your essential oil diffuser.
- Surprise them.
- Imitate Princess Kate.
- Ask yourself some questions.
- Repeat number 5 in a different way.
- Work on your habits.
- Plan your restful nest.
- Respond, don’t react.
- Give grace.
Cuddle when cuddling is required.
It’s not easy giving up your agenda. You need to start dinner because when daddy comes home he will be tired and hungry. But sometimes, it’s so worth it to collapse on the couch with your littles and just cuddle. Tickle, talk, touch. Do what they want, and only what they want, for fifteen minutes. Somewhere in there tell them you’ll need to get back to the kitchen. Updates make the transition easier for them when it’s time for you to get back to adulting.
Plug in the essential oil diffuser.
There are many ways to diffuse a situation, and running an essential oil diffuser can help maintain a restful nest. Lavender has a calming effect. Patchouli is best for grounding and centering. Spearmint stimulates, but also relaxes the respiratory and nervous system. I have only lately begun to learn about essential oils. Watching the effect of rolling lavender on a wrist during a melt down? I’m a believer.
Change the mood by doing something new.
Maybe you bought a toy you stashed away for a birthday. When special times demand special action, pull the toy out of hiding. Then make it an adventure to discover this new thing together.
Connected families are happy families.
Imitate Princess Kate.
Okay, I know what you might say here. Princess Kate can be perfect because she’s a princess with nannies and cooks and… I don’t know what she has for helpers, but one action she has is all hers and I think it makes a huge impact. When one of her children needs her, she bends her knees and balances on her fancy heels to talk to the child eye to eye. Her attention is focused solely on that child, and the parade has to stop for her to have that one on one time.
Ask yourself some questions.
They’re not hard questions. Just the simple, “Is anyone hungry?” Or hangry, wet, tired, sore? If any of the questions get a yes, your answer is easy. Take care of it and rest will return. Seems too simple, but it truly often is the best answer.
Ask yourself some different questions.
No, this isn’t a repeat of number 5. Ask yourself if you are happy. How is your attitude? Do you need to adjust some feelings? Change some habits? When you are in a good heart-place, your calm will rub off on your littles.
Adopt good habits.
This is suggested in part by number 6. Good habits include doing things in a timely manner. Have a schedule, but don’t punish yourself if things go awry. Because they will. Plan ahead for healthy meals. But expect your 2 year old to survive on two green beans some days.
Do your best, cut yourself some slack, and stay happy.
Plan a safe, restful nest.
When your children are toddlers and babies, your home should be baby proof so you don’t have to worry about that, at least. Create safe spaces: keep cords out of reach, use childproof locks on cupboard doors; put safety plugs in all the outlets. When your home feels safe for littles you can relax on that point, and your children will catch it from you.
Respond rather than react.
Your littles are little. They are not mature enough to make good judgements about situations. They react. They have natural instincts in response to stress, hunger, weariness. Try not to be triggered by their reactions. Rather, remain thoughtful, kind and caring. That’s what adults are supposed to do. And you will, most of the time. The other times, make it up to them with extra hugs and kisses. They’ll know.
Your final takeaway: give grace.
Children are often bears. Babies cry too much, toddlers are naughty. Try to remind yourself that how they act is not who they are. Children will sense when you expect the worst, and begin to act that way. They need to feel you believe in them and you won’t judge them by their worst moments.
Get ready for it. You now have some keys to a restful nest.
Go forth and relax. You’ll want to keep and enjoy your littles while you have them.
