When Tomorrow Starts Without Me: 1 Year Now

One year ago,

on July 29, 2020,

my mother passed away.

She was three months from her 99th birthday.

 

On a typical morning,

or as typical as mornings were that summer of Covid 19 in the midst of isolation from family with the only visits that happened were through windows and there was no hugging.

She hadn’t had a physical hug from any of her family for at least four months.

It was just a day before the retirement home she lived in would lift the ban on visitors for a short time, and my brother and his wife planned to visit her.

 

But that morning she woke, went to breakfast in the dining room,

calm, relaxed and smiling. She greeted friends, caressed a nurse’s hand.

After breakfast her nurse settled her in her recliner.

Mom thanked the nurse, who said she’d be back in a while.

The nurse popped in half an hour later, and found mom, napping the nurse thought, with her head dropped forward, as she often napped. She never did like to lay down for naps.

She fell asleep forever that morning after breakfast. Peacefully, quietly.

The angels carried her away without fanfare.

Our hearts were left emptier, but filled with wonderful memories.

We had the strangest, but best ever, funeral. In her son’s farm shed, filled with family and friends.

She would have loved it.

She was so lonesome during the pandemic that kept her isolated from the family she loved,

but in the end, she would have loved the casual family gathering that was her memorial service.

And the little service on the grass in the shade of the poplars beside her grave.

 

 

So now we’ve had a year of tomorrows

that started without her.

And yet she feels as if she’s with me sometimes.

Today my email included an ad for air fare. To the city near her. Ticket sale for August, which is often when we went to see her.  So not only was my heart feeling it was time to visit her, the world wide web thought it was, too.

So that’s the reason I had to write this post which is only important to me.

But thank you, friend, if you read this, and you’ve prayed for me this past year when you remembered I’d never see my mother on this earth again.

I can’t see her. But that poignant day almost one year ago will live brightly in my mind until I do see her. When we all gathered in a way she would have loved, to remember her and tuck her away in a place she would have loved.

 

 

If you’ve lost someone, you’ll appreciate this poem that means so much to me now.

 

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

David M. Romano

When tomorrow starts without me
And I’m not here to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
Are filled with tears for me,
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things
We didn’t get to say.

I know how much you love me –
As much as I love you.
And each time you think of me
I know you’ll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready
In Heaven far above;
And that I’d have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But when I walked through Heaven’s gate
I felt so much at home,
When God looked down and smiled at me
From His great golden throne.
He said this is eternity
And all I promised you.
Today your life on earth is past
But here it starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow
For today will always last.
And since each day’s the same way
There’s no longing for the past.
So when tomorrow starts without me
Don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me
I’m right here in your heart.