Kim’s Story, Chapter 5: A Road Trip, Wedding and Funeral
Kim’s Story, Chapter 5:
A Road Trip, A Wedding and a Funeral.
Kim’s first months were eventful.
By 2 months of age she’d clocked 5000 miles!
The story of our dream life continues.
Our boys were healthy and happy, and models of good behavior.
We didn’t deserve our sweet family. God blessed us with easy-care boys.
They loved life. The minute their eyes opened in the morning they attacked life with the joy and enthusiasm God reserves for young children.
And their fights and squabbles were just as enthusiastic. But short lived. It was never hard to convince them of the wisdom of getting along.
Kim’s Story: Our Journey on the Spectrum
We’ve shared about Autism Spectrum Disorder before, here, here and here, but now we decided to tell Kim’s story, and our journey inside the spectrum. Because when a child is on the spectrum, the journey involves the whole family. This article studies the effects of autism on the family.
To start at the beginning read this post, then follow the links.
This begins “Chapter 5”.
Family Dynamics
Our boys were 6 and 4 when their baby sister joined the family.
They were practically like twins, and since at that age they were about the same size and had the same tow-headed coloring, people often asked if they were twins.
They enjoyed playing together. One favorite activity was creating elaborate “farms” with their miniature machinery and clothespins for fences, roads and yards.
So if the two brothers were like twins, sharing their toys and enjoying the same type of play, you could ask if they bonded with their sister, who was so much younger.
There is no doubt they loved her.
But the truth is, they were very active boys. She was an accepted part of their life, but they were busy with their own play. Which she could not join in on. As she grew, they grew also. School became their life, with neighbor boys to play football and soccer with after school. Four years is a large gap at that age.
And that began a part of her life that never changed. She learned to play alone, and seemed happy with the solitude. As long as she wasn’t far from my presence.
This may be part of the reason we never noticed she didn’t relate to peers the way she should have. And Kim’s girl cousins, whom she was with often, say they never noticed anything either when they were all little.
A Wedding
Back to the first months of Kim’s babyhood.
Kim was born June 10th. Her dad’s youngest brother got married that summer, up in Idaho.
We made the 1500 mile trip by car, 3 car seats in our Pontiac sedan. The boys were in booster style seats by then and could operate their own belts, so that made it easier. It was the sweetest sight, to look in the rearview mirror and see a big brother flanking each side of tiny baby sister. It gave the impression that her brothers were her knights in shining armor. Closer to the truth: on a long road trip, it’s best to separate healthy, active boys to spare the parents’ sanity.
The trip was enjoyable. However, since I was nursing a small baby, I didn’t get in on all the wedding activities. I spent too much time in the bathroom or spare bedroom of any home we visited. So my memories are hazy, other than remembering that Kim was a good traveler.
So good, in fact, that even when the car’s air conditioning quit, and we were driving into the desert 4 hours from home, she never seemed to notice. While I gasped and moaned with a migraine, Kim was a trooper. She ate and slept as if the car wasn’t a convection oven on wheels and we were like chickens on a rotisserie.
We were all very happy to get home and escape into an air conditioned house.
Except for the sad news that my best friend’s father had passed away while we were gone, and his funeral was the next day. Kim’s dad had to work, but I felt I should go, and made the 3 hour trip with his parents.
A Funeral
Two month old Kim and I left with her grandparents early the next morning to drive up to Sedona for the funeral.
The church was lovely, set into the red rocks with a wall of windows. Windows that let in copious amounts of sunshine and the light soon brought my migraine back. And I realized I had not recovered overnight as I thought.
And then, Kim threw up all over me, and I discovered she must have suffered from our hot ride the day before.
I disappeared into the restroom for the rest of the service. Kim had extra clothes in the diaper bag, but I didn’t. She very seldom threw up, so I never considered the possibility. That’s when this mom learned the art of washing clothing in a public restroom while wearing said clothes. Kim’s belly gusher didn’t stink, so that was a good thing. Still, no one wants to walk around with milk-starched clothes, so I was glad the service was still going and no one else was in the bathroom. By the time others came in I was safely dry. Hey, Arizona is a dry country.
Kim seemed fine after that, back to her quiet, agreeable self. I, however, tried all kinds of finger massage and pressure point poking all over my neck and head, but the headache just got worse.
Fortunately, Kim’s dad is super considerate when anyone is in pain, so getting home was intensely relieving. Plus, as a stay-at-home mom, the children and I could all take it easy the next day, and recover in peace.
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