What Kind of Church Lady Do You Want To Be?

I’ve always wanted to be a good Church lady.

You know, the one who has casseroles ready every day to take to the sick and suffering family down the street.

The one who bakes cinnamon rolls regularly and opens her door to the timid, the struggling, the angry, and serves up coffee and kindness at her kitchen table.

The one who younger women watch and admire and say, “I want to wear purple, just like she does, when I am old.”

The Lydia kind of purple.  The one who’s husband sits in the gate and is admired.  The lady who shares her last two mites.  The Dorcas who sews blankets for hurricane victims and makes Lovies for preemies in local hospitals.

That kind of Church lady.

Sooo.

Is that the type of Church lady you know?

Or does your mind put up barriers and your stomach churn when you think of the stereotypical Church lady?

The Church lady who hauled you into an empty Sunday School room and said, “I don’t know why I have to be the one to tell you this, but…”

Does your mind go to the Church lady with nose high in the air who turned around very deliberately to see who was trying to shush her baby in Church Service?

Or the Church lady who insisted on sitting in the very same spot in the very same pew every Sunday because that was the only place that was just the right temperature?

Then the Church lady who frowned at the Usher because he tried to take her to a bench where her current frenemy was seated.  And very emphatically thumped down in a different pew.

Or the Church lady who stayed home from Service to teach the pastor a lesson, because he had preached directly to her that time?

No one wants to be that Church lady.

Some people don’t want to go to Church because they are afraid of those Church ladies. 

Yet they don’t think they can live up to their Church Lady Ideal.

They can’t be Church lady number one, and they want to stay far away from Church lady number two.

How about we become or learn to know

The Ideal God-Centered Church lady.

Last week I stepped in to fill the spot of Church lady in the kitchen, helping to plan and serve a Thanksgiving lunch to the other Church ladies who were sewing comforters and receiving blankets and packing little happy bundles for babies for the local Clinic.

There was one major problem.  Not enough Church ladies were available to help bring the dishes for this meal.

We all wanted to help with the projects and eat the meal, but there weren’t enough volunteers to help bring the food.

So I get on the Church Lady Chat and say, “Hey, ladies, you’re missing out.  We need…” and I named the dishes we didn’t have enough of.

Immediately my phone began pinging with messages.

“I can bring double of the dish I signed up for.”

“I have my name down for ________, but I can bring __________, too.”

Awesome.

But I did feel bad for the lady who offered to bring two different items.  I knew they were moving to another state shortly, and that it was for financial reasons.  Now what?  Do I get involved, or leave it?

I left it.

But another Church lady knew just what to do.

She DM-ed (direct messaged, versus Church Lady Chat) and told the two-dish lady that she was going to the grocery store, and would pick up the items two-dish lady needed to prepare the second dish.

I don’t know who Grocery Lady is.  Two-Dish Lady didn’t tell us that.  She just shared, with tears in her eyes, how she volunteered because God put it in her heart, and because she obeyed, even in this super simple thing, God provided a way for her to do it.

This is the Church Lady I want to be.

Quietly, behind the scenes, she opens her heart and her check book.

Quietly, behind the scenes, she helps her “sisters-in-heart” accomplish their goals and takes no credit to herself.

She gives strength to the weak and faith to the doubting.  Just standing by and lending her hand and her heart.

She’s not perfect.  Sometimes she comes across as “holier than thou.”  But her heart is in the right place.  She truly knows and loves the Jesus who gave His life for all and gave His all for life.

Sometimes she looks down her nose at a situation, but then she digs in and helps and encourages in the kindest way.

In other words,

the best kind of Church lady

knows when to be quiet and when to say something.

She knows when to chip in with her two mites, and when to help someone earn their own two mites.

She knows when the young mom needs help with the washing and folding, and when the young mom needs help with organization instead.  She doesn’t do this by showing up with labeled baskets and Ikea shelves.  She presents with her time and asks, “What can I do?” and then does more than she’s asked.

She knows when her school children’s teacher is frazzled and overwhelmed.  She presents herself and asks, “How can I help?” and then grades papers and shares a cappuccino while she listens and nods.  Instead of criticizing the teacher’s shortcomings to her children, she asks how she and her children can make it easier for the teacher.

The best Church ladies present.

Best Church ladies are available and willing.  And sometimes have days when they aren’t or can’t.

Best Church ladies are what I wish I was, what I want to grow up to be, what I hope I am at least sometimes.  But I know God loves me when I’m not one of the best Church ladies.

Best Church ladies don’t keep count, don’t hold others to a list of acceptable behavior.  Because they know that life happens to everyone, and everyone happens to have a different life.  We’re all at different places in our lives, and we’re all doing the best we can in those places.

The best Church lady is you, doing the best you can.