I Believe the Miracle: No More Nicodemus Nights

Jesus came in the night and assured Nicodemus:
“For God so loved the world, that He sent His only Son into the world.”
Believe the Miracle!

Who am I?

Why am I here, living on this earth, at this place and time?

What am I doing?

Am I “born of the Spirit?” (John 3:6)

The wind listeth where it pleases; where does it come from, and where does it go?

Is the Son of Man just a wisp of the wind?  Will I hear the Wisp when it lists my way?

I lift my eyes up.  Up to a blue, clear sky.  No clouds moving.

I see the palo verdes, all quiet, still.  No wind listing them.  Is the Spirit there, then?  If the branches aren’t moving?

I huddle in my bed, trying to relax, sleep; chill in the air.  Is God here?  I see no evidence.  My heart recalls the hurts of the day; the pain of rejection; the fear of failure.  No sign of the listing.

I reach out, Nicodemus in the night.  During the day, I could keep my head up, my smile on my face, go about and accomplish.

But at night…  at night.  I’m a Nicodemus.

Afraid.  Tentative yet believing.

I want to believe the Miracle.

The Baby was born.  Grew to be a Man.  Healed the sick; gave sight to the blind.

I want to believe.

But…

how can the Spirit be in me?

Me… so weak.  Can’t stand up to the life I have.  Cower in the corners and want to be someone else.  Have a prettier nose.  Clearer skin.  Have a happy home.  Drive that icon car.  Wear the name-brand clothes.

Yet…

Jesus came to Nicodemus in the night.

Even though the man was so… human (like me)…

God came

and talked to him.  Told Nicodemus all the important things, as if Nicodemus was someone worthy.

Someone whom Jesus felt deserved His Words, in the night, when the rest of the world was quiet and resting.

Jesus came in the night and assured Nicodemus:

“For God so loved the world, that He sent His only Son into the world.”

I will believe the Miracle.

In the night, the Child was born.

In the night, Jesus came to Nicodemus.

At night, I hear Jesus… listing… in my mind

with the words of the Miracle.

With the wisp… of His Spirit.

And I rest.

Because

I believe the Miracle. 

This post is partly based on “nights” I’ve had in the past. However, it is mainly to give you a glimpse of Kim’s daily struggle. She is the strongest person I know, as she keeps fighting the good fight. In spite of autism.